JOURNAL PROMPT

 These are my answers to the journal prompts from Patrick Tehan's video "Limerence, Attachment and Childhood Trauma"

Journal Prompt 1 

Write out examples throughout your life where limerence might have been going on for you. You might recall these as crushes, but might they have been more than that.

  Throughout my life I have always had very intense crushes, a lot either bordering on or straight up limerence. I first remember Will. He was on my mind consistently for 6 years. I put a love song in his locker. Everyone liked him and I used the idea of him not looking my way as proof for why I was allowed to have a chip on my shoulder. The poor disabled girl will yearn for the cutest boy in school and he will date the prettiest girl in school and not even know I exist. I leaned into that trope for quite a while. I had some breaks because I was in a couple long term relationships, but trust it came back like it never left. I was bored in my own relationship and missing key things I need to make a relationship last. I was missing someone who had a path to a successful future. I was missing someone who made me feel smarter after talking to them. I was missing someone who was fun. It got bad so so quickly. One day I am in love with my ex and the next day I am losing my mind on a 5 hour drive because I cannot get my coworker out of my head. I was in so, so, so deep. It did not help that our relationship got fr closer and he kinda led me on, but even if he didn't it still would have been bad. I knew this was not normal. The feeling of having a crush or really falling in love with someone is so different that what I was experiencing. It felt like I was growing flowers in my brain, and they were being slowly picked. One day, enough flowers were picked that the weeds began taking over. I knew it was not pure or natural or beautiful, but it was something and I could not stop it. Oh! He also has a 9 year long relationship with his live in girlfriend. 

will finish later