confrontation

 I am never one to back down from a fight (lie). 

I have a strong sense of justice. If I feel that someone I care about who I look at as unable to standup for themselves is getting wronged, I will go to extreme lengths to hate on that person. Conflict on behalf of me, though, is a whole different story. I have gone into too many fights cocky and with one sentence, my whole system of belief in that situation gets knocked down. I am so scared that will happen any time I get into conflict with someone. It makes me feel like I go into conflicts soft, malleable and apologetic. The benefit of the doubt is given to everyone but myself. This is not something that has always come naturally for me. I used to go in to conflict blazing hot, pissed off. I know that even though my new self feels weak compared to the girl that would demand her side be heard, my attitude is not a weakness. I think going into conflict with love and openness to other perspectives has been a skill that I have continuously worked on. I hope that it becomes more natural and easier over time. I hope I can adopt this attitude towards conflict I have with anybody in my life, not just the people who I know will be open to deescalation when I see their side. I hope I can go in to conflict with this attitude with people who are close-minded, who are uneducated and who are belittling. That will be a true test of my character.