weighed myself

 I weighed myself for the first time in 6 months yesterday. I weighed 152. I am so scared. The largest I got was 160+ and then I starved myself and broke up with my ex. I lost so much weight and I was at 130. I was so pretty. I was so small. I looked in the mirror and didnt want to turn the lights off. I need to start working out again but I literally cannot figure out a way to do it in a healthy way. I always fall back into my old ways. I am so tired of this battle in my mind. I want to be normal with a normal relationship with food and my body. Obviously, this is a common struggle but I just feel alone in this one. 

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